69 meaning

What 69 means

69 refers to a position in which two partners give each other oral sex at the same time. It takes its name from the shape of the numerals, since the 6 and the 9 sit head to toe. The French equivalent, soixante neuf, is simply the same number in French, and it has been in use for a long time. You will still see it from time to time on older sites.

Like other shorthand, the number works because it is quick and understood almost everywhere. It also gets used as a running joke, as anybody who has ever had to read out a phone number will know.

On an escort profile

On a profile, 69 usually appears in the list of what a lady says she enjoys, and you can see who mentions it on our 69 page. It is one of the milder and more common terms listed, but that does not make it automatic. An escort's rate covers her time and companionship, and each lady decides what she is comfortable with.

Mutual activities depend even more than most on how two people feel about each other, because both are involved at once. It can easily suit one person and not the other, for reasons of comfort, height or plain preference. If a lady would rather not, there is no need for discussion.

Health and safer sex

Since this involves oral contact in two directions, infection can also travel in two directions. Oral sex is usually considered lower risk than some other activities, but gonorrhoea, chlamydia, syphilis and herpes can all be passed on this way. Condoms for men and dental dams for women reduce the risk. A dental dam is a thin square of latex or polyurethane placed over the area as a barrier, and NHS sexual health services can give you more information.

Do not go ahead if you have any sores, a rash, unusual discharge or a cold sore. It is also worth knowing that brushing your teeth immediately beforehand can leave tiny cuts in your gums, so a mouthwash may be a better choice at that moment. If you are seeing new partners, regular check ups are free and confidential, and many infections show no symptoms at all.

Comfort and hygiene

A shower beforehand is simple good manners and matters more with this than almost anything else. Think too about practical comfort. Few positions are less forgiving of a difference in size or a bad back, and there is nothing to be gained by being stubborn about it. Lying side by side is often more comfortable than one person being on top. If either of you is uncomfortable, change position or stop.

Consent applies throughout, and anyone can change their mind. Keep a light touch, and if it does not feel good for either of you, laugh about it and move on.

How to raise it politely

You will not need to mention this when you call. Give us her name and a time, and we check she is free, confirm the price and arrange the rest.

With her in person, it is fine to be simple and friendly. For example, your profile mentions 69, is that something you would enjoy today. If she says no, or suggests something else, take it in your stride. Read our A to Z of escort terms for more of the vocabulary.