Cuckold meaning

What the word means

A cuckold is a person, usually a man, whose partner is intimate with somebody else, and in modern use he knows about it and has happily agreed. The old meaning was much harsher. For centuries it was an insult aimed at a husband deceived by an unfaithful wife, and it comes from the cuckoo, the bird famous for leaving its eggs in other birds' nests.

Today the word mostly describes a consensual dynamic between adults. The appeal varies from person to person. For some it is about trust and openness in a relationship, for others about giving up control, and for many it stays a private fantasy that they never act on. You may also hear cuckquean, which is the same idea with the roles swapped, and hotwife, a looser term that tends to focus on the woman's enjoyment rather than any feeling of humiliation.

Cheating is not the same thing

The line between this and infidelity is consent. When everyone knows and agrees, nobody has been deceived. That is why couples who explore this tend to talk for a long time before doing anything, setting clear rules about what is fine, what is not, and how either of them can call a halt. Feelings can catch people out, including jealousy they did not expect, so it is worth agreeing to check in afterwards too.

If you are thinking of a booking

Couples sometimes explore their interests with an escort, and our guide to couples bookings explains how that works in practice. Every adult involved must be genuinely keen, and that includes the lady. Her time and companionship is what the rate covers, and it does not buy any particular activity. Each lady decides what she is comfortable with and can say no at any time.

If it is on your mind, check her profile for couples and what she enjoys, and mention your situation honestly and politely when you meet. As with any intimate contact with someone new, condoms and regular check ups at an NHS sexual health service are sensible for everyone, including the partner at home.