Vanilla meaning

What vanilla means

Vanilla means conventional sex and intimacy, with no kink, fetish or power play involved. The word was borrowed from ice cream, where vanilla is seen as the plain, standard flavour. People in kink communities began using it to describe those who were not part of their world, and it has since passed into everyday language.

It sometimes gets used as a mild put down, the suggestion being that vanilla means dull. That is a shame, and it is unfair. Vanilla ice cream is popular because it is delicious. Affection, conversation and closeness are what many people want most, and there is nothing second rate about that.

Where vanilla ends and kink begins

There is no official line. One person's mild adventure is another's everyday routine, and a pair of handcuffs bought as a joke does not make anyone a kinkster. Most people sit somewhere on a sliding scale, and where you sit can change over time or with different partners. If you are curious what lies beyond vanilla, our list of kinks is a gentle introduction, and there is no pressure to try any of it.

Vanilla and escort bookings

A lot of people assume that those who see escorts must be looking for something exotic. In reality, many just want relaxed, warm company, a good chat and a sense of connection. That is exactly what the girlfriend experience style is about, and it is often closer to a vanilla date than anything else. Dinner plans, a drink and good conversation are perfectly good reasons to book, which is why dinner dates are so popular.

Whatever your tastes, the arrangement is the same. The rate covers a lady's time and companionship, and each lady decides what she is comfortable with. She can say no at any time. You never need to apologise for wanting something simple, and you never need to invent a more interesting story. Just say what you would enjoy, listen to what she would enjoy, and take it from there. Safer sex matters just as much here as anywhere else, so condoms are the sensible default.